11.24.2004
stressure points
Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. I'm already dreading it. This is the first year my mom's hosting the family at her new house. So she's excited, but I know it will be stressful for me, considering I'm supposed to be her right-hand man, but she never actually has me do anything. I just have to be on-call, sort of. It sucks!
But today I went to see the shrink again, who gave me another round of the antidepressant and added klonipin for anxiety. I just popped one a little while ago. We'll see if it helps. I'm just glad I have it before tomorrow. Maybe I can avoid a supermodel meltdown. I always flip out in these situations, because everyone starts talking about stupid shit and it's all bullshit and even if I try to enjoy seeing my family, I get caught up in their little arguments or petty talk about the family members that aren't in attendance and I get so crazy I just need to escape, even if it's just long enough for a smoke. But then when I come back, I catch shit from a few different people about smoking. And heaven forbid if anyone brings up the gay marriage issue. I'll flip. Okay, breathe. But that's not going to happen this year, right? Right.
And if that's not enough, my roommate's being a jerky. He decided since his mom ditched him for thanksgiving, he's going to stay at home and cook. I invited him to go to mom's house with me, but he refused. So when I leave my mom's to come home, my roommate, his boyfriend, and our old roommate who hates me will be at my house. That sucks!! So I have to deal with bullshit at mom's house, and finally when I can escape to come home, have to deal with bullshit here. Fucking great.
I did some big girl stuff today. Took my tire to get fixed, from where I had run over a nail. I made some business calls, took care of some stuff. Doing some laundry. Now I'm going to veg and watch some Buffy on DVD until I have to get ready for my dinner plans later. Friends are good. I don't want to spend the next two days suffering, so I arranged a little get-together tonight to calm my nerves. I hope it works. Either that, or the klonipin. Co-dependent, me? Naw...
alannablue at 3:28 p.m.