02.09.2006
update
I haven't written anything in what seems like a really long time, unless you count grocery lists, to-do lists, or my daily doings on my bedside calendar. I just wanted to let the universe know what I've been up to.
My new job in auto claims has been kicking my ass. It's an absurd amount of work, for one thing. I like lots of work, strangely enough, but this is ridiculous. I stress about it a lot. But today I kicked some major ass at work, and got almost caught up for the first time in two weeks (which seems like a really long time to me, although writing it down sounds less stressful than it really is to me). So I left work today on a positive note, although I'm afraid to be upbeat about it, simply because I'm cynical and I think tomorrow will probably shoot me down again. So, work - not so great.
On the plus side, I added a whole new level of stress to my life recently. I'm volunteering this tax season again to do taxes for free for the community through the United Way and the AARP, but this year instead of just doing the taxes, I'm actually running two tax sites. Which isn't that stressful yet, but it has been challenging to get the proper training to run the sites. As dorky as it sounds, I do like doing taxes, though. Specifically, I like doing taxes for free and leading other people. They ask me questions and I have the answers (or I can find them or figure them out), which is really nice! I enjoy being the center of attention in that kind of way; it makes me feel important. And I'm just as susceptible as anyone else about wanting to feel important every now and again.
I told my bitch shrink this week that I'm depressed as hell and her dumb medication isn't working. So she's switching it. I'll be taking another anti-depressant, and slowly weaning off the anti-anxiety medication, which she said is a downer. Well, thanks for telling me now, dumbass. Perhaps this will help me shake off this horrible yuckiness I've been weighed down by lately. And by lately I mean the last year and a half or so. If nothing else, I can say this about myself: I'm honest about my faults and shortcomings. I don't try to ignore that I'm fucked up when I am, which is a blessing and a curse, depending on the day.
One more piece of good news and I'm off: I got my bonus from work and I was able to pay off 3 debts for a total of $3200! That's a staggering leap out of debt for me... granted, I still have my whopping $10k student loan, another $5k credit card, and my $4k car loan, but still... not bad, considering where I was financially even 2 years ago. Paying off debt makes me feel good. Like I'm not a piece of shit. And that's the best feeling I could ask for right now.
alannablue at 10:18 p.m.