10.29.2005
The latest downdate
Why is it that before I get home, I have about 5 different ideas of things to do before Joe gets home, but then when I get here, they all seem lame? I could read, watch TV, play on the Internet, write some more of my current story, clean my bathroom, etc. I sit down at the computer, excited to check my email and have a little alone time, but 2 minutes later, I can't remember why I was excited or what I thought I was going to do on the computer. Clinically depressed? Naw.
Seriously, I am so sick of this shit. Feeling lame, that is. I used to be fun, I swear! I remember it, sort of, although I can't imagine going out like I used to. I never drank or anything, but I'd go out to bars every night, hang out all night with friends, whatever. Now all I (want to) do is sit at home, waiting for Joe to get home, then get pissed when he is home. I'm so conflicted, I can't stand myself.
I even hate that I whine about it like this.
alannablue at 8:51 p.m.